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- The hardest part about gaining any new idea is sweeping out the false idea occupying that niche. As long as that niche is occupied, evidence and proof and logical demonstration get nowhere. But once the niche is emptied of the wrong idea that has been filling it - once you can honestly say, I don't know, then it becomes possible to get at the truth.

- Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

- Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

- To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

- To be matter of fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy--and dull fantasy at that--as the real world is strange and wonderful.

- If you pray hard enough, water will run uphill. How hard? Why, hard enough to make water run uphill, of course!

- The phrase "we (I) (you) simply must..." designates something that need not be done. "That goes without saying," is a red warning. "Of course..." means you had best check it yourself. And if "everybody knows" such-and-such, then it ain't so, by at least ten thousand to one.

- 'Love' is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

- Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.

- Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other “sins” are invented nonsense.

- It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.

- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

- The most preposterous notion that H. sapiens has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, withou a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all history.

- Sin is a dangerous toy in the hands of the virtuous. It should be left to the congenitally sinful, who know when to play with it and when to let it alone. ~H.L. Mencken

- Religion must remain an outlet for people who say to themselves, 'I am not the kind of person I want to be.' It must never sink into an assemblage of the self-satisfied.

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Lazarus Long lazaruslong2004@gmail.com
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Lazarus Long lazaruslong2004@gmail.com

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